Diet & Exercise

Dear Fat Girl...

I took notice of you the other day...and I have to say this; you are not changing, and you are not doing anything to change. I have watched you go from pretty outgoing and funny..to reserved and shy. Why do you give it so much control? Fat Girl...I fear that you have giving up before even really starting...and I won't let you do it. SO here I am to tell you that you need to stop whining and get with it...yes Fat Girl you are FAT it didn't go away, because you chose to ignore it. Wake up and take a long honest look in the mirror.......I DID!!!

Goals, Goals...and more Goals!

SO...I have been bad...as you can see with the major lack of posting. But I am back and have a newly developed plan to blast the chub away and shine!

Although I have struggled with my weight since the birth of my first son (the yo-yo years), I did get it into check just before getting pregnant with our second son...and then well, let's just say I lived! Ryder is now two..and I fear that the excuse of just having a baby isn't cutting it...so it's time to cut my losses (err gain) and trim the fat!

If you have been reading my blog, you will have noticed that motivation has been lacking in my neck of the woods. My failure was not due to the lack of want, but poor planning...as I have recently learned from another (non-diet related) blog: My Lucid Reality. Other than being a very gifted writer, Claudious is also very goal oriented. He helps you take attainable goals and breaks them down into miraculously strategic achievement plans. His post on goal management are in a 3 parts series and links can be found below:

A Goal is Just a Wish your Heart Makes Part 1

A Goal is Just a Wish your Heart Makes Part 2

A Goal is Just a Wish your Heart Makes Part 3

So grab a pen and some paper and let's turn our wishes into a well thought out plan!

Greasy McLard Butt says Brownies NOW!

1. Make the brownies
2. Eat the brownies
3. Destroy the evidence

Me: No! I am trying to be good

GMB: Oh come on, one bad day...it's not the end of the world. Have a brownie with some coffee....doesn't that sound good.

Me: Well, uh...yeah that does sound pretty interesting. Kind of like a seperated Mocha, all warm and sweet and Wait! No! No Brownies!

GMB: I can't believe you are not gonna eat it, when you know you really want to...nobody has to know, it can be our secret.

ME: Our secret? How can it be our secret, I am a blabba mouth and everyone knows about the box of brownie mix in the cupboard...there is no secret to keep. *sigh*

GMB: Well I know how to fix that...

ME: What? How?

GMB: You can tell everyone in a moment of passion for extreme healthy living that you tore open the box and bag inside and emptied it's chocolately goodness all over the trash, making it untouchable for the human mouth and destroying it all together in your eyes. Add in a little ENDORPHINES WHOO! and you are set to go.

ME: Hey that is kind of a good idea...no one would know, this could so totally work. We could so have our brownies and coffee now...good job GMB, I am looking forward to it now.

*waiting for the coast to clear*

GMB: Uh, yeah...hello there, where are those brownies? (such an impatient bitch)

ME: Gawd..give it a rest, I think I don't want to do it anymore....I don't want to lie to everyone.

GMB: Stop be such a pansy and get the chocolate

ME: What? Fuck off...GAWD you are such a bitch!

Me: Oh and we are not eating the brownies now....fucking cow!

So it looks like I won this time...

Did I Ever Tell You About.....

Greasy Mclard Butt? Well she is a big fat bitch, and relentless...I tell ya! She is my little devil whisper in the canal of my ear. A liar, the biggest of them all...convincing, manipulative and whimsical all in one.

Always with the(s), there is always tomorrow, or one more wouldn't hurt...no one will ever know. It's sick I tell ya and every time I try to write her off, she gets all offended like she was just trying to keep me happy, because she knows what makes me happy. And then I cave, because some sick self hating part of me wants it...so bad.

So I thought of trying again of getting Greasy Mclard Butt to leave, but I know it's impossible she would never stay gone long enough for me to be comfortable. I now realize I must deal with her...and it could make for some posts, as I am lacking in those lately. So now that you know of her, you will be soon hearing the things she has to say...I will try and keep good notes on her devilishly bitchy rants...and then you can all know, exactly what it is I am dealing with.

Okay people...I'm back!

Things have been nuts...and well I like nuts, so I eat the nuts, and the nuts are salty...and salt is good with Pepsi, and well Pepsi is a good dear friend of mine, that I struggle turning my back on.

I am not sure where I am going with this post...except for the usual stuff, like I am gonna start a diet tomorrow (hey...even I half buy that load of crap, now!). Um, let's see..I stopped hiding in my car and eating...I figured be loud and proud, hell..why not?!

So then last night as I was stuffing a taco down my throat, of fuhreaking course the Soup starts bagging on some fat chick...and all I could do was look down at my Santa Clause belly. Funny, it didn't at all seem jolly. I told myself to get with it, and do something about it.

Gawd...if my kids and hubby feel half as annoyed with the "talks" I have with them, that I do when yacking at myself..they'd probably jump ship, and leave me for good. They have no idea how lucky they are...they can: tune me out, walk out of the room...ignore me, but not I, I'm stuck with my bitchy ass self and my non-stop ridicule and bashing. I am suuuuch a bitch.

But as it turns out I handle my bitchiness the same way I handle other bitches in my life...I ignore. Which does me no fucking good, so maybe if I stop bitching at myself, I'll start losing weight. Lord am I full of it!

But that is me...always searching for an excuse, and rambling on about nothing. Don't ya just love it?!

It's funny I really just wanted to tell you all how I tried Sushi...So guess what?

My oh my....

It's been one month since my last post....I cannot believe it! Don't worry though...I am still fat as ever!

I have been working out on a weekly basis...some jogging and some aqua aerobics. Wait..what was that? Yep that is right Aqua Aerobics...I joined a class. Although...I have been doing exercises, I have also been eating quite a bit...keeping my weight at a steady heft number. I know what is needed to be done, but somehow cannot convince myself to do it. I have also returned to eating in my car...somehow my brain believes that if I am eating in my car it doesn't count, but the mirror does not lie...and well I am in denial, or something.

Preparing myself for the aqua aerobics class was a painful moment...as a bathing suit is required. I tried on my old "fat" swimsuit...and just about killed over with laughter seeing it on myself, horrified and humored by the whole ordeal...my "fat" swimsuit doesn't seem so fat anymore. I ended up wearing a maternity suit, filling out nicely (or whatever). That ended up being a nightmare, as we did a lot of jumping up and down and the top portion would float up and reveal my jelly belly to all looking in...and as it turns out 2 toned teen aged life guards were perched on my side of the pool, making sly comments to one another...and because I am that type of girl...you just know they were about me. However..I did not let it get to me to badly, and managed to have made it to class 3 times since then.

Class is wonderful, and filled with the nicest people ever! I have a couple of stories to share from there, but will save it for another post.

I hope all of you are doing well...