Getting ahead of myself

I think I let this blog get to my head...well I think I let this blog has helped me get ahead of myself. I have been setting goals and standards for myself that I am apparently not ready for. Leading me down paths of failure and binge eating...and ultimately shame. So this is a start towards something new, and I am ready to take things one day at a time, and not push and claw at some sort of future vision of myself. Today I am me, overweight and happy with life in general, not my appearance but the things and people in my life.

I have been waiting for a switch to turn on in my brain, my motivation switch...I know it is there because it had been activated once before, before we decided to have Ryder. A picture triggered it then, something I have tried lately (with utter and complete failure)...so I need to find that trigger...that one thing that will scare me straight. Until then it will be a uphill battle, one that I am willing to fight...but also one that will most definitely come with follies. Today I am prepared for that, going in knowing that there can be failures is better than not going in at all, and/or going in with a naive perception that there would not be any.

So here is to a new beginning, of not getting ahead of myself. Day by day....